Similar to triggers, sometimes things from the past make their way into the present, whether we want them to or not. Today, Chris shares two stories about how people’s pasts crept up into their new relationships with him, and how it impacted him in the process. We all have pasts, but it’s important to know what stays there and is unique to the person in the past and what should come along for the ride into the future.
A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma. In dating, we may not be talking about trauma like PTSD, but there can still be experiences or words that bring back bad memories. And the thing that causes those memories is a trigger. Chris and Erika share some of their own triggers — some more trivial and some more serious — with listeners.
This week, Erika and Chris tackle three questions from both friends and clients. Topics include ghosting, dating after divorce, and the right time to start dating again.
It’s the age-old question: Can men and women be friends? Erika and Chris tackle this question from several angles, sharing stories of both being the “friend” and the person in a relationship with someone who has an opposite-sex friend. None of this is easy, and there are no right and wrong answers, but just the discussion itself should shed some light on what is possible.
Most of us try to make a great first impression, especially when it comes to dating. Sometimes, though, trying to come off as your best self backfires and you end up being someone you don’t want to be. Have you ever accidentally had too much to drink to impress a date? Or, maybe you’ve done something way outside your comfort zone? In this week’s episode, guest Beth shares a personal story, and then Chris and Erika discuss what happens when you try a bit too hard to impress your date.
Perhaps the most important piece of any relationship, whether romantic or not, is how two people communicate. Can you make yourselves vulnerable? Are you comfortable with conflict, knowing that your partner will truly listen? And when you’re in a relationship, do you know how best to communicate your love for each other? In this episode, Erika and Chris break down what these “Love Languages” are and how they apply to your relationships.
Have you ever had someone judge you for something that’s completely not his or her business? Or, maybe someone doesn’t understand your life choices, so rather than asking about them, the default is to put you down or make assumptions? Being different is great. Being judged for being different — not so much. In today’s episode, Erika and Chris each share some stories about how outside judgment has affected their own lives and their relationships.
Once you enter a relationship, the work is not over. In fact, that’s often just the beginning. This week, Erika and Chris answer clients’ questions on intimacy, moving in, and the age-old question of whether men and women can be friends.
While the podcast often focuses on online dating, in this week’s episode, Erika and Chris talk about offline dating, or meeting people in real life (IRL). How do you know if someone is available? Is it appropriate to approach someone in this climate? Is rejection worse if it’s in person? After sharing their own stories, Erika and Chris drill down on how exactly to ask someone out in the real world.
Why do we want what we can’t have? Does the chase make the outcome sweeter? If we have 10 amazing things (or people) in front of us, why do we focus on the one who’s not there? This week, Chris and Erika each share stories, and Erika covers four theories on why exactly we go for the one we can’t have.
You went on a first date. It was okay. Not great, not terrible, but okay. Do you go on a second date? That’s the question that Erika and Chris try to answer in this episode. In this day and age, with so many options on the dating sites and apps, it’s easy to overlook someone who perhaps doesn’t put out the best first impression. Sometimes nerves are at play. And sometimes it’s just not a match. What criteria should you use to determine wither a second or third date is worth it? Listen to find out.
This week, guest Bob shares an incredible story about his first date, wondering whether some guiding power (beyond the powers of OkCupid) brought him together with his girlfriend. Then, Erika and Chris talk about their views on fate, soulmates, and coincidences. While they don’t see eye-to-eye, each shares in interesting perspective, while sharing stories along the way.
Whether you don’t live near each other when you meet or your relationship has to turn into a long-distance one after some time, navigating the circumstance can be tricky. How often will you see each other? Are you exclusive? What’s your primary means of communication? Erika and Chris discuss all of this and more this week, and Erika shares her own attempt at meeting someone from afar.
Have you ever wondered whether men and women really do think differently when it comes to dating? You don’t have to wonder anymore. Erika and Chris break down how truly different their brains are when it comes to dating, both short-term and long-term, and how even the simple concept of attraction can vary. Maybe men really are from Mars and women from Venus… or maybe not.
So many times, people get back out there before they are ready. Maybe it’s because they’re lonely, or maybe they think they should be ready based on some preconceived or arbitrary timeline. The reality is that, just as every relationship is different, the time to heal after every breakup is also different. Erika, Chris, and guest Claire discuss stories about it. Ready or not, here we come.
In this day and age, with technology everywhere we look, it’s easy to forget that people are, well, people. When you set up a date with someone, there’s a real person at the other end of the equation. So, if you don’t show up, it affects both of you. The moral: Don’t stand people up. It’s a terrible thing to do, and it makes your date feel even worse. Erika and Chris both share stories about Bumble dates — poof — not appearing as planned.
Dating is confusing. And in the #MeToo era, it’s even moreso. Not everyone has the same views on the gender roles, if there are any, in dating, yet many feel that someone should simply “know” how to act. In this episode, Chris and Erika, along with a guest, share personal stories highlighting that some stereotypes are meant to be broken and some may be here to stay.
Is Rover part of your dating life? How about little Whiskers? When it comes to dating, what role should your pet play? Guest Naomi shares her story, and then Erika And Chris each have some furry experiences of their own.
In any relationship, especially long-term, money can be a hot-button topic. What if one partner thinks an occasional splurge is appropriate, and the other doesn’t? Even the word “splurge” is subjective. It’s so important to have aligned expectations about money. Erika and Chris share some personal stories and discuss money’s place in a relationship.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of our listeners. This week, Erika shares one of her own more memorable Valentine’s Day experiences, and then Chris and Erika discuss how dating can be different — and more stressful — when it’s around a holiday.
You’re on a date. It’s not good. You want out. Is there ever a polite way to extricate yourself from a less-than-ideal date? Or, is it best to see it through? With a story from guest Teddy as their guide, Erika and Chris navigate the waters of bad dates… one text, drink, and embarrassing moment at a time.
Are certain first date topics taboo? Should you get your deal-breakers out of the way early, or should you get to know someone a bit first? This week, we hear a story about religion, marriage equality, and gun rights… all on one date. Then, Erika and Chris talk about how these perhaps no-longer taboo topics can impact the trajectory of a relationship.
Online dating is an interesting place where you promote yourself in any way you choose. We hope that people are being honest. Some are, and some aren’t. Today, Chris and Erika discuss what information to share online versus what to wait to reveal in person. Is there one correct answer? No. That’s what makes it tricky.
Sometimes online dating can feel like you’re ordering a pizza. Everything is laid out on a menu in front of you, and all you have to do is select what you want. But, when meeting someone in person, that’s not the case. We are more open-minded and less beholden to our “type.” Does meeting someone offline who doesn’t fit your criteria affect your online behavior? Hear what Erika and Chris have to say about it.
Want to know how to move from the dating app to the first date? Or, maybe you’re texting with a potential date, but the planning of the date itself has stalled? Erika and Chris are back with another session of answering your most pressing dating questions.
Getting back out there after a divorce? Have anxiety and fears about it? This week, Erika and Chris discuss what it’s like when someone starts dating again after having been married. And our guest, Tony, shares his awkward experience… and there’s a rose involved.
Tinder got you down? Not getting responses from your Bumble matches? Sick of all of the matches on Hinge who just write “hey there” to you? On this week’s episode, Erika and Chris do a deep dive into the dating apps — everything from what you write in your profile to how to speedily get to the first date. Have dating app questions? This episode is for you.
Cheating. It’s never pleasant. There’s always more to the story. On today’s episode, Erika talks to Natalie about her experience, and then Erika and Chris discuss their takes on the nuances of cheating and relationships.
Ghosting — the act of ending a relationship without actually ending it — is bad, and our guest Becca shares her experience. Then, Erika and Chris delve into other modern dating behaviors (and their “interesting” names) and what they mean for all of us.
Manscaping, grooming, a landing strip or a Brazilian. There are so many ways to wear your hair… down there. For the Season 2 premier, Erika and Chris go a little deeper, discussing current trends in the grooming department. Are there norms, preferences, expectations? Episode 19 is all about going public with the pubic.
While Erika and Chris start planning for a new season of the show, we thought you’d enjoy listening to some of the highlights from the last few months. This week, Chris shares some of his favorite moments.
How often have you considered giving someone a second chance? Does it work out the second time? When a relationship didn’t work out because of timing, distance or communication issues, we all seem to ponder the question “what if?” Chris shares a story about his 6th grade crush and what happened after multiple chances, then Erika shares a story about a long lost relationship and if people ever really change.
Ah, chivalry. Some people crave it. Some people hate it. Some people don’t even know what it is. Erika and Chris each share stories about chivalry… or lack thereof. Together they discuss if chivalry is about the action, or the motivation? And then they go over some “Chivalry 101” for listeners.
What should you say or not say over text to a date? How do you handle getting to know someone, arranging a date, or getting flirty? What about those shirtless selfies? Erika starts this episode off with a story about how she dealt with one of those selfies. Then Chris shares a story about receiving a text… one meant for someone else. All of this and more is covered this week as we learn more about textiquette.
You’re on a first date. The check comes. What happens next? In this episode, Erika and Chris discuss the ins and outs of paying for dates. Who does it? Is there an obligation for the man to pay? How should the woman respond? Erika starts with a story about a latte, a baking dish and more. Then Chris brings us a few stories, about Mexican food and Subway. While you are listening, take a moment to share your opinion on our survey below, and be entered to win a $50 gift card to our favorite sandwich shop. But remember, if you can swing your food, it’s probably not appropriate for dinner.
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Have you ever had one of those dates you wanted to bail in the first 10 minutes? Have you ever left a date? Most of us probably have. Whether it’s someone not being who they said they were, not looking like their pictures, or simply being rude, there are dozens of Do’s and Don’ts for first dates.
Erika starts us off with a date she left, when the comedy routine wasn’t that funny. Then Chris lays one out there, a major DON’T you DON’T want to miss. Do you have some great do’s and don’t advice? We’d love to hear about it, so tag us your #dosanddonts on Twitter!
In the meantime, as we discussed on this week’s podcast, enjoy Erika being herself, in all her wonder! Singing at the top of our lungs because we just don’t care! 🙂
Welcome to So, We Met Online. A new podcast that explores the world of online dating, from the first connection, to intimacy and everything in between. We invite you to register, subscribe and join us each week as we take a humorous look at the challenges, pitfalls and successes of dating in a digital world.
We start off sharing a little bit about ourselves and move into a great story from Chris and a flaming cupcake. Immediately Erika and Chris dive into some great topics about what to share or not to share with someone you have just met, and how fast you should take things. Do you have a 3 date rule? Is there a double standard when it comes to sex? See how that worked out for Chris and his date.
Next Erika shares a story about a repeat offender. This is less about giving someone a second chance, and more about being honest in your attempt. Are dating horror stories just an excuse to avoid online dating? Do you love sushi? Be sure to order a couple of rolls while you sit back and listen to this date gone wrong.
We would love to hear your thoughts. Please share some feedback with us and comment on the episode below!