A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma. In dating, we may not be talking about trauma like PTSD, but there can still be experiences or words that bring back bad memories. And the thing that causes those memories is a trigger. Chris and Erika share some of their own triggers — some more trivial and some more serious — with listeners.
Perhaps the most important piece of any relationship, whether romantic or not, is how two people communicate. Can you make yourselves vulnerable? Are you comfortable with conflict, knowing that your partner will truly listen? And when you’re in a relationship, do you know how best to communicate your love for each other? In this episode, Erika and Chris break down what these “Love Languages” are and how they apply to your relationships.
Once you enter a relationship, the work is not over. In fact, that’s often just the beginning. This week, Erika and Chris answer clients’ questions on intimacy, moving in, and the age-old question of whether men and women can be friends.
As we are seeing more and more these days, there is not a one-size-fits-all solution to relationships… far from it. While monogamy is generally people’s default, Erika and Chris want to shed some knowledge on other types of relationship structures.
While the podcast often focuses on online dating, in this week’s episode, Erika and Chris talk about offline dating, or meeting people in real life (IRL). How do you know if someone is available? Is it appropriate to approach someone in this climate? Is rejection worse if it’s in person? After sharing their own stories, Erika and Chris drill down on how exactly to ask someone out in the real world.
Why do we want what we can’t have? Does the chase make the outcome sweeter? If we have 10 amazing things (or people) in front of us, why do we focus on the one who’s not there? This week, Chris and Erika each share stories, and Erika covers four theories on why exactly we go for the one we can’t have.
You go to an event. Someone hits on you or otherwise makes you feel “icky.” What do you do? This episode is all about those awkward interactions — how to avoid them in the first place and what to do if you can’t. Guest Claire is back, and, with Erika and Chris, shares a story of her own.
Whether you don’t live near each other when you meet or your relationship has to turn into a long-distance one after some time, navigating the circumstance can be tricky. How often will you see each other? Are you exclusive? What’s your primary means of communication? Erika and Chris discuss all of this and more this week, and Erika shares her own attempt at meeting someone from afar.
Have you ever wondered whether men and women really do think differently when it comes to dating? You don’t have to wonder anymore. Erika and Chris break down how truly different their brains are when it comes to dating, both short-term and long-term, and how even the simple concept of attraction can vary. Maybe men really are from Mars and women from Venus… or maybe not.
So many times, people get back out there before they are ready. Maybe it’s because they’re lonely, or maybe they think they should be ready based on some preconceived or arbitrary timeline. The reality is that, just as every relationship is different, the time to heal after every breakup is also different. Erika, Chris, and guest Claire discuss stories about it. Ready or not, here we come.
Dating is confusing. And in the #MeToo era, it’s even moreso. Not everyone has the same views on the gender roles, if there are any, in dating, yet many feel that someone should simply “know” how to act. In this episode, Chris and Erika, along with a guest, share personal stories highlighting that some stereotypes are meant to be broken and some may be here to stay.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of our listeners. This week, Erika shares one of her own more memorable Valentine’s Day experiences, and then Chris and Erika discuss how dating can be different — and more stressful — when it’s around a holiday.
You’re on a date. It’s not good. You want out. Is there ever a polite way to extricate yourself from a less-than-ideal date? Or, is it best to see it through? With a story from guest Teddy as their guide, Erika and Chris navigate the waters of bad dates… one text, drink, and embarrassing moment at a time.
When you’re dating someone new, it’s hard to know how fast (or slow) things should move… sexually. One person might have one idea, and the other may have the opposite idea. Or, maybe one person is adventurous in bed and the other is more conventional. Erika and Chris invite Rachel to share her story and then discuss the intricacies of sex, relationships, “the bases,” and the timing of it all.
While Erika and Chris start planning for a new season of the show, we thought you’d enjoy listening to some of the highlights from the last few months. This week, Erika shares some of her favorite moments.
You sign up for a dating site. You write a profile. You message some people. You plan the date. You assume that your date has read the profile you wrote. This seems like a natural progression, right? Sadly, not always. Erika and Chris each share stories about going on dates where the information they put out there online was blatantly ignored… and both hilarity and a couple bad dates ensued.
Someone asks you to do something… maybe it’s a drink, maybe a coffee, or maybe a trip to Disneyland. But, it is a date? Erika and Chris discuss how to know whether something is a date or not. Is it the language someone uses when he or she asks? Is it the activity you do? Should we all just be in the dark, or should we just ask, “Is this a date?”
Ah, chivalry. Some people crave it. Some people hate it. Some people don’t even know what it is. Erika and Chris each share stories about chivalry… or lack thereof. Together they discuss if chivalry is about the action, or the motivation? And then they go over some “Chivalry 101” for listeners.
Have you ever had one of those dates you wanted to bail in the first 10 minutes? Have you ever left a date? Most of us probably have. Whether it’s someone not being who they said they were, not looking like their pictures, or simply being rude, there are dozens of Do’s and Don’ts for first dates.
Erika starts us off with a date she left, when the comedy routine wasn’t that funny. Then Chris lays one out there, a major DON’T you DON’T want to miss. Do you have some great do’s and don’t advice? We’d love to hear about it, so tag us your #dosanddonts on Twitter!
In the meantime, as we discussed on this week’s podcast, enjoy Erika being herself, in all her wonder! Singing at the top of our lungs because we just don’t care! 🙂
Welcome to So, We Met Online. A new podcast that explores the world of online dating, from the first connection, to intimacy and everything in between. We invite you to register, subscribe and join us each week as we take a humorous look at the challenges, pitfalls and successes of dating in a digital world.
We start off sharing a little bit about ourselves and move into a great story from Chris and a flaming cupcake. Immediately Erika and Chris dive into some great topics about what to share or not to share with someone you have just met, and how fast you should take things. Do you have a 3 date rule? Is there a double standard when it comes to sex? See how that worked out for Chris and his date.
Next Erika shares a story about a repeat offender. This is less about giving someone a second chance, and more about being honest in your attempt. Are dating horror stories just an excuse to avoid online dating? Do you love sushi? Be sure to order a couple of rolls while you sit back and listen to this date gone wrong.
We would love to hear your thoughts. Please share some feedback with us and comment on the episode below!